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Dementia

What To Do if Your Parent Is in Denial of Their Dementia Diagnosis

Kim Trevey on Feb 26, 2023
How fast does Alzehimer's progress - Bader House Georgetown and Plano
Table of Contents
  1. How to help a loved one who is in denial of their dementia

Receiving a dementia diagnosis is incredibly difficult. There is no cure for dementia or Alzheimer’s. Despite more awareness being raised around the disease, a stigma remains. Knowing the disease is degenerative and that you will only get worse with time is discouraging and heartbreaking.

Some meet their dementia diagnosis with denial. It is their way of coping with the difficulty. If they don’t accept it’s true, maybe it won’t happen. Of course we know this isn’t logical, but we’ve all been in denial about difficult things in our lives hoping the denial will make them go away.

In addition, someone with dementia may be in denial because the disease is already taking its toll. They can’t see what others around them can, that their memory is failing them or their behavior is changing. This is known as anosognosia or “lack of insight.” It is the inability to see your own illness. This can be difficult for caregivers especially. It is hard to care for your loved one if he doesn’t think he needs help.

Bader House Thank you Card from Maury, daughter of patient P. Lawson

How to help a loved one who is in denial of their dementia

Your goal as the caregiver for someone who is living with dementia is to help them move toward acceptance of their diagnosis, adapt to their new normal and live as well as possible as their disease progresses.

Here are a few suggestions for how you can do this as you navigate your parent’s new normal.

1. Educate yourself.

Educating yourself as much as possible regarding your parent’s diagnosis is helpful for you and your loved one. The better you can understand your mother or father’s type and level of dementia, the better you can understand them, what they’re feeling and why. This is crucial to be able to empathize with them as they navigate a new reality.

In addition, understanding what’s happening in their brain and what kind of care they will need will help you equip yourself and your loved one for what’s the come.

2. Don’t argue.

Arguing with your parent about their diagnosis will not convince them it is real. They will just grow more confused and upset. Instead, be kind and supportive. Show your parent you are on their team. Build rapport because you will need it in the months and years to come if you remain their caregiver. They need to trust you and the decisions you make about their care. This trust needs to be built early on from day one of the diagnosis, so your relationship can remain strong, and your mother or father can know they are in good hands.

3. Encourage them to do what they love.

Don’t center your parent’s life around their diagnosis. They are still a human being with interests and a life story. Encourage them to keep doing what they love.

Do they like hiking? Find a trail you can visit together.

Do they enjoy cooking? Prepare a meal together.

Remember who your mother or father was before the diagnosis. That person hasn’t gone away. Now more than ever, they will probably need help bringing that person out of them.

People living with dementia and Alzheimer’s can still live fulfilling lives. The stigma around the disease suggests otherwise, but don’t fall into that thinking. Let your mom or dad continue to be the fun, outgoing, intellectual or adventurous person you’ve always known them to be.

4. Prioritize safety.

No matter what, the safety of your loved one comes first. If your dad is wandering out of the house and endangering himself, you need to consider what level of care is required. If your mom is still driving but getting lost regularly or gets into an accident, it is probably time for her to stop driving. She will likely be in denial about this, but that doesn’t matter. Her safety comes first. Do what you need to do to ensure your loved one is in a safe environment.

5. Get professional help.

Even if your mother or father is in denial about having dementia, you don’t have to be. You can take action on their behalf as far as getting advance directives in place and establishing guardianship for health and financial decisions.

Create a long-term plan of care with your other family members after speaking to your parent’s doctor.

Decide who will pay for what, if and when to look into memory care facilities and what actions you will take as the disease progresses.

Having a plan in place will ensure your loved one can live as comfortably as possible with the best possible care.

In many ways, receiving a dementia diagnosis requires grieving, and the first step of grief is denial. Ultimately the goal is for someone to move toward acceptance of their diagnosis so they can create a plan of care they feel comfortable with and that ensures they live the fullest life possible as they live with the disease. But acceptance may not happen overnight. Grief is a process. Your loved one will need to move through that process at their own pace and in their own way.

Give them space.

Let them grieve.

Do what you can.

Plan what you can.

But most importantly, be there for your loved one. Don’t give up on them. Let them know that when they are ready to accept their diagnosis, they will not be alone. You will be there to help them every step of the way.

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Covid Information

Continuing an Environment of Caring in Times of COVID-19


Safety of Residents and Staff

As the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic continues to evolve, our communities are focused on keeping our Residents and staff safe while also maintaining Resident engagement and daily fulfillment. We are taking a cautious approach, balancing the highest level of safety within the least restrictive environment.

We will continue to follow and augment State and C.D.C. safety recommendations:

Screening: We screen every employee every day. We require our staff to complete a questionnaire (inquiring about possible symptoms, recent travel and exposure), have their temperature and oxygen level checked before entering the building. Staff are also required to clean their cell phones, keys and wash their hands while being observed. We monitor our Residents’ health closely with temperature and oxygen level checks at least twice a day. We help our Residents wash their hands throughout the day and encourage them to wear a mask or face covering.

Cleaning: We have enhanced our cleaning products with regard for their effectiveness in killing COVID-19 particles and proper sanitization and disinfection, using the EPA’s specific list of disinfectants for use against the coronavirus. We are using this list and training staff on how long cleaning solutions must be kept on a surface before wiping it off to ensure its effectiveness. We prioritize cleaning high-touch areas and horizontal surfaces, cleaning them several times a day.

Physical Distancing: We encourage 6 foot distancing between Residents and with staff unless they are providing direct care to a Resident.

Testing: We test all Residents and staff for COVID-19 every three weeks, and more as needed. Our nurses utilize a PCR test, which we send to a private lab to expedite results.

Physical Changes: We have installed ultraviolet lights in our air conditioners that supply air to the common areas of the houses. This method is believed to be helpful in killing bacteria that is cycled through the systems and pushed back into the house. We’ve also enhanced our HVAC filters to near HEPA levels, trying to add additional layers of protection to keep COVID-19 out of the building. Most importantly, air purifiers have been added to common areas and each resident room.

PPE: Staff members wear masks at all times and we encourage Residents to wear masks when outside their rooms. We also encourage physical distancing between our Residents. Staff wears additional protective equipment when deemed necessary while caring for our Residents. Staff are continually trained on when and how to use personal protective equipment (PPE).

Individual Needs Stay Paramount

The uncertainty surrounding COVID-19 affects us all. At our communities, we are not letting it stop us from safely offering a life well-lived. Above all, we are providing the utmost attention to the safety and well-being of our Residents. Our Program has always revolved around the individualized needs of each Resident and this has not changed during COVID-19. Residents are still able to connect with each other and staff while maintaining a safe physical distance. Weather permitting, we enjoy the patio and large backyard. We continue to keep our Residents engaged through cognitive, physical, recreational experiences. We offer enjoyment and connection throughout the day even during these unprecedented times.

Visitors

Since early March we have restricted facility access to prevent the spread of COVID-19.

Essential Visitors: Healthcare providers including physicians, home health, private duty services, physical therapy and hospice staff have not been allowed in the communities unless there is an acute, essential need for our Residents. These services continue as needed through FaceTime, tele-med and phone conversations. If physical access is absolutely necessary, the individual will complete our questionnaire and screening for temperature and oxygen stats. No one is allowed in the community if they fail to meet our screening criteria.

Families: We are happy to help schedule window visits, FaceTime, Zoom and phone calls with your loved ones based on what is allowed and prudent. To ensure the proper support from our staff, our visits are scheduled ahead of time.

Tours and Move-Ins

Tours: We recognize that regardless of the changes with COVID-19, your need for senior living hasn’t changed. For the safety of you, our Residents and staff, we are currently offering virtual tours where you can see our community, as well as meet our staff. Please contact our Community Relations Director to set up a virtual tour.

Move-Ins: We are accepting a limited number of move-ins (unless otherwise instructed by public health department). New Residents must be tested for COVID-19 prior to move-in. Upon admission, we will place a new resident in their room to quarantine as an additional precaution.

We will share community-specific information with residents and families as our quarantine measures continue to evolve with new information of COVID-19.

We are honored to care for your family member and loved one.

 

Comments we’ve received from our families during COVID-19.

“We appreciate all of your efforts. Your team clearly is a leader in the response to COVID. Thank you for keeping our loved ones safe.”

Joseph

“Thank you, thank you, thank you for ALL you have done and are doing to keep the residents and staff in a safe environment! The continuous learning and improvements empower caregivers and families to do better at home and in our communities.”

Tommy

“I appreciate you taking the time to update us and share them with my family living in AL, GA, VA, MD, FL…we are extremely grateful and comforted by your proactive and decisive measures! We’ll continue to keep you in prayer for health, safety and more.”

Rebecca

“In keeping with the parade theme you had, the employees there are super heroes. They are plowing forward in the midst of this horrible virus and taking care of their patients selflessly. I just wanted to acknowledge their bravery and dedication and thank them from the bottom of my heart for the goodness in their hearts and their dedication to their patients and jobs.”

Abigail

“Thank you! You locked down early & your diligence has paid well.

The Bader support group continues meeting once a month by Zoom. We all appreciate you so much. Everyone comments on how grateful we are that our parents are at Bader House!

We appreciate everything: sending us pictures, calls, alerts to bring supplies/clothes as needed, staying in virtual contact with hospice.
Blessings to each of you.”

Marsha

“Thank you for all y’all and all the staff are doing for my mom and the other residents. We truly appreciate your hard work.”

Carol

Bader House Memory Care Plano
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